


The Secret Diary of Lily Luna Potter, Aged 13¾

by SeaburyQueen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Diary/Journal, Gen, Inspired by Adrian Mole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-23 20:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11409198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeaburyQueen/pseuds/SeaburyQueen
Summary: It’s not easy being thirteen, much less so when you’re the only daughter of the most famous man in wizarding Britain. Lily Luna Potter takes to recording her trials and tribulations in her diary.





	The Secret Diary of Lily Luna Potter, Aged 13¾

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve had the idea to do my own take on The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13¾ by Sue Townsend for a while now, so I wrote this. If you would like to see more, please tell me!

** Winter 2022 **

Saturday January 1 st

_New Year’s Day_

These are my New Year’s resolutions:

  1. I will stop worrying about the size of my bust.
  2. I will keep up in all my lessons.
  3. I will not bother Al in his OWLs year.
  4. I will not bother James in his NEWTs year.
  5. I will look after my particularly gormless cousins (i.e. Hugo).
  6. I will respond to my mum and dad’s letters.
  7. I will introduce myself to one new upper-year every week.



Last night was a disaster of unmitigated proportions. This is no doubt due to the unwise decision of one Teddy Lupin to allow my older brothers and several of our cousins access to several bottles of (extremely cheap) Firewhisky. Being one of the few completely sober individuals at last night’s party, I feel it my solemn duty to record the proceedings for posterity.

_The Potters’ New Year’s Eve Party_

5 PM Granger-Weasleys and Teddy Lupin arrive at Number 12, Grimmauld Place.

5.01 Rose Granger-Weasley, Teddy Lupin, and Al and James Potter hold secret meeting. Lily Potter and Hugo Granger-Weasley rudely excluded.

5.30 Lily Potter and Hugo Granger-Weasley begin spirited game of Wizard’s Chess. Lily Potter confident of victory.

5.50 Lily Potter concedes defeat; demands rematch.

6 PM Uncle Percy’s lot arrive precisely at the time indicated on their invitation.

6.38 Uncle Bill’s and Uncle George’s lot attempt to arrive all at once. Louis Weasley ejected from fireplace at great speed.

6.40 Various other friends of Potter family begin arriving.

7 PM Older cousins and classmates join Teddy Lupin and company in secret meeting. Lily Potter and company once again rudely excluded.

7.01 Lily Potter shrewdly notes that trouble is afoot. Hugo Granger-Weasley claims another chess victory.

10 PM Majority of guests have arrived. Food is served. Teddy Lupin and Victoire Weasley nowhere to be found.

10.05 Lily Potter halts “Best 17 out of 33” chess tournament with Hugo Granger-Weasley to conduct detective work.

10.10 Lily Potter determines that Teddy Lupin and Victoire Weasley were last seen heading upstairs.

10.15 Hugo Granger-Weasley defeats Lily Potter at Wizard’s Chess.

10.23 Hugo Granger-Weasley defeats Lily Potter at Wizard’s Chess.

10.27 Hugo Granger-Weasley defeats Lily Potter at Wizard’s Chess.

10.47 Lily Potter puts on impressive display of chess ability.

10.48 Hugo Granger-Weasley defeats Lily Potter at Wizard’s Chess.

11 PM Teddy Lupin observed to reappear amongst partygoers with extremely disgruntled expression upon his face and fading handprint upon his cheek. Reluctantly agrees to take on defending chess champion Hugo Granger-Weasley.

11.14 Hugo Granger-Weasley defeats Teddy Lupin at Wizard’s Chess.

11.15 Teddy Lupin slouches off in unbecoming fashion. No-one between ages of fifteen and twenty-five to be found.

11.20 Louis Weasley challenges Hugo Granger-Weasley to game of Wizard’s chess.

11.30 Roxanne Weasley claims next match.

11.35 People begin lining up behind Roxanne Weasley.

11.37 Hugo Granger-Weasley defeats Louis Weasley at Wizard’s chess.

11.40 George Weasley goes to prepare fireworks.

11.45 George Weasley declares fireworks missing. Drunken partygoers largely unconcerned.

11.47

“George,” my mum was saying sensibly. She’s completely pissed but you’d never be able to tell—she used to be on a Quidditch team after all. “You probably just misplaced them, or perhaps you left them at home. Why don’t you pop back and check?

“No Ginny,” Uncle George insisted. “I know I left them right here!”

“Look, George, before you work yourself into a panic, let’s go to your house and check!”

With that, mum grabbed Uncle George by the hand and they Disapparated with a loud bang.

At least, I thought the bang was just from their Disapparition, until I heard another.

And then a massive Chinese dragon came barreling down the stairs.

Teddy, James, Al, Rose, and some of my other cousins and schoolmates were on its tail, or at least as close as they could get without getting singed. They kept tripping each other up as they all tried to get through at once. “My glasses!” Al cried; I could see that James had already lost his.

The dragon crackled merrily as it zoomed around. The Christmas tree, bone-dry after at least a fortnight of everyone forgetting to throw it an Aguamenti, caught on fire. People’s fancy hairdos were wrecked. Tables were upended. Lucy, Hugo and I had the good sense to take cover behind one.

Uncle Charlie, bless him, reckoned that a dragon is a dragon. “I’ll take care of this!” he shouted, infused with liquid courage, and brandished his wand. His current bird (he switches them out monthly) fawned and swooned.

Uncles Percy and Ron, who are far more familiar with the results of trying to magic away Wildfire Whiz-bangs, shouted “No!” and moved to stop him, but were too late. The three landed in a pile on the floor as Uncle Charlie’s spell hit the dragon and split it into no less than _ten_ dragons.

One of the dragons swooped towards Victoire and Louis. Victoire backed Louis into a corner and stood in front of him, determined to protect her little brother at any cost. It didn’t look good for either of them until—

“PROTEGO!”

Teddy leapt in front of the siblings and diverted the dragon with a Shield Charm. It rebounded and exited our house, taking the front door with it. Victoire fell into Teddy’s arms. “My hero!” she cried and kissed him full on the mouth.

Meanwhile, Uncle Percy had pulled himself from under Uncles Charlie and Ron, who were still scuffling confusedly. With a rapid series of pops, he took care of the remaining dragons.

All was quiet on the Grimmauld front.

Teddy and Victoire began snogging in earnest as Louis scurried over to where Hugo, Lucy, and I were still hiding behind a table, as if to protect his eyes from the disgusting sight of his older sister kissing somebody. There was another bang and everyone started in terror, but this time it really was just Apparition. Mum and Uncle George had reappeared.

“I told you, Ginny,” Uncle George proclaimed, looking cross. “The fireworks are _here_ —oh.”

What with the cowering party guests, the chaotic state of the furniture, and the smoking Christmas tree, it was quite clear what had happened. With uncanny speed, my mum correctly deduced that it was my eldest brother’s fault and located him for a sound scolding.

“JAMES SIRIUS!” she bellowed. “What did you DO?” Funny how nobody pinned the blame on any of our older cousins or classmates; we all knew that James was responsible.

“It wasn’t _entirely_ my fault!” he whined. “Teddy gave us the Firewhisky _and_ the Whiz-bangs!”

Teddy and Victoire broke apart, Teddy spluttering “That’s not true—I mean not the bit about the fireworks—I don’t how they got their hands on them!”

Victoire gave Teddy a disgusted look and slapped him soundly across the face, forgoing her wand in favor of good old skin-to-skin contact. She stormed off leaving Teddy looking like a kicked wolf cub.

Teddy and Victoire were off again.

Mum rounded on Teddy and left Dad to take care of James and Al. Other parents began to scold their drunken offspring. Sparks were flying (as if we hadn’t had enough of that!) when Aunt Luna called serenely:

“Listen! It’s midnight.”

She was right. The clock began to chime. Mum and dad forgot their rage at their sons and godson and walked towards each other, smiling sappily; couples across the room did the same.

The clock finally struck twelve and the room was filled with kissing couples, yuk yuk. Hugo and I made kissy faces at each other; Teddy sunk to the floor, once again miserable; James grabbed Quentin and kissed him ferociously (I think he meant to go for Alice).

Couples broke apart and the party returned to full volume. Teddy, James, Al, and so forth were given looks that made it very clear that they were not out of the woods yet but had been granted a temporary reprieve. The damage was set to rights and the party continued through the night.

**Author's Note:**

> Update: Given the positive response I have received to this chapter, both here and on other sites, I am considering continuing to write “Lily’s” diary. However, if I do, I intend to finish the work before posting it in its entirety, so it could be a while before we see Lily Luna’s Mole-esque musings again. Please feel free to subscribe to this work in the meantime—hopefully I can surprise you with an update soon!


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